Uchuu Masaaji

Day 58: Saturday, May 7, 2011

It was raining on and off all day. I stayed home and looked at my new photos, which I had gotten in the mail yesterday, while taking breaks to watch Terminator.

Around 4:00 P.M. Yusuke (from Hajimeten) said he would be in my neighborhood soon and that we should hang out. Thirty minutes later, I met him at the station. I assumed we’d just get coffee or something, but he was there with our friend Shoko saying something about getting a Uchuu Masaaji (Space Massage) from someone... I had no idea what he was talking about. He also said that I had probably met the masseur before. Well the guy came and I definitely hadn’t met him before because he looked like a rainbow. He took us to his place, which was right next to my supermarket. From the outside it looked real fancy and while we were going up the elevator, Yusuke was telling me that he was married and just had a kid.

We entered his apartment, which was basically just a room with a big bed taking up most of the space and a window blocked by the next building over. I couldn't imagine a family living there. He told us to sit down on his bed while he took off his clothes, which made me embarrassed so I had to look away. Underneath he was wearing pajamas with stars.

Yusuke went first and told me to be prepared because the guy would be making crazy faces (this was Yusuke’s second time receiving treatment). The guy put his hands on Yusuke’s shoulders and then suddenly his eyes opened up wide, stuck his tongue out and wiggled it like a snake, and then began breathing heavily. I had to do my best to keep from laughing.

Seeing Stars

Throughout the massage, Yusuke kept saying “Atsui! Atsui!”, which means "hot" in Japanese. After thirty minutes, the guy was done. He said Yusuke originally had some bad space karma before, but was getting better this second time around. Yusuke then said I should give it a try. Since I was feeling irritable these days, I thought that maybe it would help, so I submitted myself to Primitive (the masseur’s nickname) and his tongue.

For the first twenty minutes, I didn’t feel much besides a comfortable massage and his hot sweaty hands, but later my body started to heat up and then my stomach, which I have to admit was a bit unusual… The whole time I could hear his tongue wiggling and his heavy breathing behind me. Afterwards the man said I had nothing to worry about, and, to be honest, I didn’t feel any different when it was all over, which was unfortunate because I was hoping that a space massage would cure my problems.

Around 11:00 that night, I got a text message from Yuki saying that they were back from their trip and would be home in thirty minutes, which was a day earlier than I had expected, so within that 30 minutes I cleaned up the entire house as if I was in a stereotypical high school movie where after having a big party and the place was trashed, my parents would be home any minute. After I finished, I was completely exhausted and went out to the balcony to cool off at the exact same time Yuki and Ian arrived. They waved up to me from below looking tanned and happy; and then I was no longer alone.