Writer's Club #5

Two days ago when Ian came home, he said to me, “I know that Writer’s Club is now dead, but Cameron, Micke, and I are meeting for lunch Wednesday. Do you want to come?” Because I didn’t know Micke very well, and I felt that it would be different without John there anymore, I told him I would have to think about it.

When Wednesday rolled around, Ian woke up rather early, which was unusual. I forgot all about Wednesday’s luncheon, so I asked him why he had gotten up so early. He simply replied, “For a meeting.” A little later while I was working upstairs, he passed by to go to the veranda for his morning coffee and cigarettes, and then left the house without saying anything. I didn’t piece it together that he was going to Writer’s Club until I was skating over to the photo lab in the afternoon, and that I was basically being excluded, which burned, but in way I understood where Ian was coming from and why he had done it…

The night before the very first meeting of Writer’s Club (before we even gave it that stupid name), John had emailed me about having lunch with Cameron whom we both hadn’t seen since before the quake. For some reason, I didn’t tell Ian that night… probably because I just needed some time to myself since I had been with him everyday since the quake… Anyways I knew it was a bit selfish of me not to invite him, and right before I left the house the next day, Ian woke up and asked where I was going. I was caught in the act, so I replied with the vague answer, “Out…” or “For a meeting…” I don’t quite remember which one.

Anyways Ian soon found out about our luncheon and was hurt that he was not invited. In my own defense, I said that John had asked me that very morning out of the blue while Ian was still asleep, so I didn’t have time to tell him, which was a lie.

The following week, I made sure to tell Ian about the meeting, but it was too late. He was still hurt and like usual, when Wednesday rolled around, he couldn’t wake up before 12:00, so I had to leave without him. A few days later, I made the post on T.B. about John and his question about the penguins as well as had officially deemed our weekly meetings the “Writer’s Club”… Later while Ian was washing the dishes one night, he made a remark about the “Writer’s Club” in an ironic/negative way (he even did the quotation marks with his fingers when he said the “Writer’s Club”)… I could tell he was bitter. I tried to defend myself and the club by telling him I invited him the last time, but it was no use and the damage was already done.

So today after my realization that I was now the one being excluded, I ran across Ian on his bike when I was going home. I decided to subtly confront him by asking him how was his luncheon was with Cameron… He just said that it was fun and that he was now off to the doctor’s to buy medicine for his trip with Yuki (they were leaving for Singapore in three days) and would be back within the hour. I went home and tried my best to shake off the feeling of being burned…

Later that night Ian, Yuki and I met up with our French friend for dinner because she was leaving Japan for good. Ian began talking dirty, so I asked Yuki something silly about anal sex, and then Ian immediately cut-in and told me to watch it in a really serious tone… Because I already knew how far I could take things with Yuki, I didn’t need have to be told that; and there is nothing more that I hate then when people tell me what to do. Ian could tell that I was pissed then, and then began to realize that it was actually him who went too far this time, so he ended up apologizing to me throughout the night to smooth things over. It was obvious that we were all reaching our limits with one another, and desperately needed some time apart…

After midnight we walked our friend to Shibuya station, and then rode our bikes home, which was actually the first time the three of us had ever gone riding together… Yuki took us on a secret route she uses everyday to get to and from work. Along the way, there was no one around and we could smell jasmine from the flowers along road... Thanks to her, the bad atmosphere and tension finally let up.