Day 234: Sunday, October 30, 2011

The exhibition started yesterday. It was my very first show in a museum, but I was so busy before and during the opening that I didn’t have time to absorb what was going on until everyone was gone and I was cleaning up. The girl that I like was with me- actually she had been with me all day as well as all last night helping me. When I was packed and ready to go, she was taking her time looking over the book that we had made together, so I sat down on the bench in front of my two framed photos and let the exhaustion finally catch up with me. While I sat there, I let my eyes relax and wander over all the little details in my pictures. After ten minutes had passed and then five more, I was still not bored. I realized then that we- meaning everyone including artists- have forgotten something so basic these days, which is how to take our time to really look at and appreciate something.

Later the girl and I went out to dinner. After we finished our meal and were working on our drinks, she told me she would take her boyfriend to see the exhibition, which wasn't surprising, but when I asked her how long they have been dating and she answered, “Since May,” I had the wind taken out of me because I had always assumed that they had dated for much longer and that May was actually when we first started hanging out as well. After a couple minutes of silence, I couldn’t hold out any longer and had to ask her about who she had met first. When she answered that she had met him a little bit after me, it was really hard to hear but finally explained everything that happened this summer and was the missing piece to the puzzle that was bothering this whole time. Now the new question, “Why him and not me?” burned away at my insides, but I no longer had the guts, nor strength, to ask.